Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
