dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Randomize
