There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Randomize
