lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
he offered me cocaine within 5 minutes of my arrival. yes of course i'm keeping him
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
