doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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