How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
