You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
Randomize
