told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
