just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
So many bounce houses so little time
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
