so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
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