Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
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