Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize
