I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
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