He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
