the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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