Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
