I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
