Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Randomize