Quick, to the slutcave!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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