He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
