I feel great
I just peed on a car
I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize