just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
My liver just had a heart attack.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
Randomize