Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
I want to be your penis for a week.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
