You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
My liver just broke up with me...
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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