Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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