i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
