dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
