I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
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