I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
