I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
This house was built for laser tag.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
