Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
