she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
