She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
