so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
