My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
Randomize
