What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize