3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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