He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
