Kiss
Puke
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Randomize