I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Come share oat with me in your robe
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize