The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
