she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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