worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
