You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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