Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
