life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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