I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
