I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
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