yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
Randomize
