There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize