Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Randomize
