Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
