So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
