I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Randomize
