Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
