On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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