Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Randomize
