I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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