Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
