I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
Randomize
