their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm gonna fight the coyote
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
