I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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