If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
