If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize