I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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