Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
It was so good the neighbors even had a cigarette.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
