when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
